Thursday, September 17, 2015

Basic B*tches

Hey, so there's a little bit of sweary-ness in this blog post (see title for example).  I'm a grown-a$$-lady though, so sometimes a little sweary-ness is okay.  Unless you're my family.  Sorry, family.  Time to bust out the earmuffs.

You may have come here and said to yourself (if you're from my generation or older) - what, exactly, is a "basic bitch?"  I give you this video starring Patrick Warburton for reference:

For the record, I am 100% a basic bitch, and if that's wrong then I don't want to be right.  I heart yoga pants and leggings.  I make use of unnecessary hashtags in social media.  I wear scarves with every outfit from September 1 through March 31 without fail.  Whaeva, I'll do what I want.

In the fall, B.B.'s are famous for their scent/beverage/food of choice; Pumpkin Spice (fun fact, while writing this post I discovered that the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte has it's own *VERIFIED* twitter and instagram account... and I find that very amusing).  Normally, I would be no exception to this rule.  But we're in Japan now, and a new competitor has entered the ring:

I would equate them more with yams actually.  Dark purple skins, yellow inside.  Very sweet.  And usually the Japanese top them with a thin maple syrup.  They're super delicious.  And they are the kings of fall here. Two weeks ago the advertisements in the mall switch over to signal "autumn is here!" and it's been nothing but celebrating this tuber's existence ever since.

As I write this post and look up supplementary information about satsumaimo (the Japanese name for them), there's a bunch of articles about how they're great for helping you loose weight.  And yet, after a week of eating almost nothing except the wonderful array of autumn-themed, satsumaimo-flavored products...

Of course, my problem is probably that I'm not eating *just* the satsumaimo. 

sold in every corner convenience store from the same type of heaters in which
Americans might expect to see hot dogs rolling.

I'm eating the satsumaimo chips.  (of which Bubba is also a fan)

and the sweet breads, stuffed with mashed sweet potato.

and the mini-breads.

and the kit-kats.

And just to be fair, I also sampled the Maple and Hazlenut flavored sweets, because I wanted to be able to tell you with confidence that the sweet potato is the best fall flavor here.  
(featuring me in a tiny clip in witch hat I bought from the ¥100 store because it's hilarious, and also fake eyelashes, which I am trying out before I wear them with my halloween* costume.)

the hazlenut bread was shaped like a hazlenut but stuffed with sweet potato!  the cake is a lie! 
and the maple bread was stuffed with sweet red beans.  because Japan. (still yummy)
Not only is Satsumaimo hands down the best fall flavor, but the hazlenut sweet bread cheated and was STUFFED WITH SWEET POTATO.
So now in theory, because I have shared my findings with you all, I can go back to eating a normal diet that is not 90% sweet potato themed foods.  Sure, we'll say that.  

In conclusion - if you can find Satsumaimo in a store near you, give 'em a try.  And then light a pumpkin spice candle for me, because they don't sell those here and I miss them.

Are you a basic bitch?  
What's is the thing that makes you the most basic?  
Tell me in the comments!

today's tiny language lesson

zenbu satsumaimo o, tabetai desu.
I want to eat all the sweet potatoes.

*halloween.  another basic bitch thing to be excited about.  
I freaking love halloween.

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