Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Apologetic Bunny.

Hi all.

The SUN was out today.  And it was marginally warm (aka not toe-splitting cold, I wore a sweatshirt and was okay).  Mac and I were beside ourselves giddy.

So you'll have to excuse us over here at KpQuePasa, because we sorta spent the entire day out in the yard instead of taping a new Mac Does Something Awesome video.  In apology, I present to you this picture of Mac dressed like a bunny.

See you next week!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Some Assembly Required: FREE Hoppy Easter Tidings!

Need something fun for Easter?  How about a bunny that hops when you push his butt?

(Or even better - a shark that attacks when you press his back!)

This is one of those moments where I know that my husband is going "OMG YESSSSSS."  because I didn't tell him I was going to put these together and his excitement over Finvites-shark-appropriate things is ridiculous.

Here we have origami Bunny/ Sharks, just in time for your easter baskets.


If you're looking at that and saying "I have no idea how you make those into bunnies or sharks."  Never fear friends, I took assembly pictures.  Ready for a quick tutorial?

What you'll need:
  • A copy of the downloaded .pdf (if you have card stock, print it on that for maximum jumpability)
  • Scissors or a cutting board that cuts straight lines
  • Crayons
  • Tape (for the sharks)
  • A sweatshirt from your husbands alma-matter, which you didn't realize featured so prominently in all the tutorial photos you took until you uploaded them.  Go broncos.

Steps (Click any of the pictures to make the image bigger)
1.  Color!  Be creative, easter is known for rainbows.  Wanna see a green bunny?  Make a green bunny.

2.   Cut out the rectangles along the SOLID grey lines.  If, halfway through this you realize that your paper-cutter does not cut straight lines, swear, print a new copy and go back to step 1.  Then switch to scissors the next time around.

 3.  (optional) Using a straight edge and a paper clip, score all the grey dotted lines to ease in folding.  This is particularly good to do if you've used cardstock.

4.  Fold and the unfold the two diagonal creases at the top. 

5.  In the middle of the two diagonal creases, there is a crease to be made by squeezing the two sides together, making the top of the craft look like one uncreased triangle. (if that does not make sense click that photo.)
 

6.  Fold that whole deal down the middle. 

 7. As if you're making an airplane, fold the two long sides into the middle longways (there is a line there, just follow the dotted lines)

8.  Just as we did the "inverse fold" on the bunny's head, unfold those long side folds and push the bunny's "cheeks" inwards before folding the side back down.

 9.  Make the bunny kiss his feet by folding the whole thing in half.

10.  Then fold the bottom half of the bunny back under to allow the bunny's paws to touch the table.11.  Your bunny is done!  To make him/ her jump, push his tookus on the bunny-tail.


To fold the shark:  All the same steps as the bunny.  When you finish, tape the "ears" together to form the fin.


Then go ahead and leave your small army of bunnies and sharks somewhere to surprise your kids/ significant other/ coworkers/ etc!
Shark attack!

If you end up making your own easter swarm of hopping joy, I wanna hear about it!  Let me know in the comments, or send me a quick picture at kristin@kpquepasa.com.  
And of course, Have a Hoppy Happy Easter!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Mac Does Something Awesome - Episode 7: Morning Routine

Episode 7 is upon us!

(You can watch below, or you can click here to see it full screen on youtube!)












Dog's are creatures of habit, and have a better sense of routine and inner timing than humans. If you have a dog, I'm sure you've noticed.




Does your dog have a routine down?
How does your pup help you wake up?
(Or do you have to wake your dog up? *cough Mac cough*)




What would you like to see Mac do next?
tell me in the comments - I really am running low on ideas over here!

Monday, March 18, 2013

I am responsible for literally 0% of these things.*

I got up this morning and looked out the window to see that yet again, it had snowed over night.  Michigan, I am over your crap.  I get that I live in the north and that snow is expected, but it is mid-March and if the snow melts at this point is should just stay un-snowy already.  Thus far this year the snow in our yard has completely melted, only to be replaced within 24 hours by a new blanket of snow... 5 times.

I wanted to work in the yard today; pick up a winter's worth of dog poo and rake so the grass can start growing in properly.  It would have been nice to get some sunshine (and a workout), but alas, Michigan says "ahahahahaha - NO."

I don't really have anything to chat about past my disappointment in the non-entity that is weather.  I needed a laugh this morning.  Thought maybe you could too.  So I decided to just share the stupid internet pictures I've seen lately that have made me do that kind of laugh that's really just sucking in air really fast.  Kind of like Sheldon.  You know what I mean.


Happy Monday.



 


 

What's your current favorite stupid internet picture?  
Share the url in the comments!

*Except for these things:  I am directly, 100% responsible for those, new in the etsy monster!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Mac Does Something Awesome - Episode 6: Nose-Eye Coordination

Episode 6 y'all!

(You can watch it below, or you can click here to watch it full screen on youtube!)



To be fair to Mac, there is a cookie placement that is more effective for catching than others. - I may have cheated while filming because it's funnier.  

(for those who are curious, the most successfully placed cookie is the one that is balanced the long way down his snout, with half sticking off the edge of his nose.) 

Does your dog catch?
Did you have to teach your dog to catch?
How did you go about it?

What would you like to see Mac do next?
Stay tuned Wednesdays for new MDSAs.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Double Stuffed/ Double faced.

I'm typing this with one hand today.  why?


This dog face seems to be on my lap/ laptop, right in the way of where my right hand would be for proper typing abilities.

That's okay, perhaps that means I'll be more motivated to focus on today's topic instead of my usual random weird tangentals.  Clear and concise is supposed to be one if the signs of good writing, right?

Maybe for term papers.

Anyway, snuggles.  I has them.

I also has Oreos.  Though likely not for long.  I haven't decided if that's good or not.  

If you've been with us here at KpQuePasa for a while, you'll know that in the year leading up to our wedding, I made a point to lose some weight.  Specifically 29 dreaded pounds, so I wasn't the "fat" bride.  You'd also know I totally rocked that goal.

I decided shortly after the wedding that I could keep this up.  Not only could I maintain, but I could lose more.  I gave myself a goal of getting to what a doctor would classify as a "healthy weight," and a pant size that might not look horrendous in skinny jeans - that remains to be seen.  I no longer feel motivated to share those numbers on the world wide web with you, though I have them locked in my head.  Which is not so much to put you off, as it is that I have never been real big on making my weight or how I manage it a talking point, and originally I only started the Dreaded 29 updates because I knew I needed help keeping myself accountable.

I don't consider myself on a diet.  I did originally, but now I just like to think of it as "I don't eat crap for the sake of shoveling food in my mouth anymore."  I think about the food that I put in my mouth, and try to ensure that it isn't pre-processed chemicals but rather came from an actual plant or critter that exists in nature.  So those Oreos.  Where do they come in?

If you've ever tried to put yourself on a better food-track, through diet or otherwise, you may subscribe to a similar thought process as myself.  Which is that every once in a while, you have to give yourself a break.  To just flat say "I shall NEVER have dessert again!" is not realistic.  Maybe you have strong willpower, and I like to think I do.  But if my grandmother, or The Mister's grandmother makes cookies  or pie for me/ us, saying no thanks doesn't give me stronger will power, it just makes me a jerk.  Plus, cookies made with love are calorie free, or so I've heard.

My problem has always been that when I take that break, it never looks like just a quick break.  It comes out as a face plant in the dirt, which may require a trip to the dentist because I hit the ground just that hard.


I don't really care for chocolate (don't judge me, it just means there's more chocolate for you), but it seems my brain will make an exception for thin mints, peanut butter cups, and most of all, for Oreos.  Especially double stuff Oreos.  (I recently learned that they make MEGA-stuffed Oreos now.  Seriously?  It's just over.)  When I break, it is typically because of one of these three things.  Also sometimes pizza.  Oh gosh pizza.  Um, moving on.

Have you tried a diet or a "smarter eating habits"?   
What makes you "fall off the wagon?"

The problem is that Oreos aren't reasonably sold in a single serving (which is 2 Oreos, according to the package, in case you were wondering.)  They come in a bag shaped like a box, which holds 30 Oreos (or they come in a bag that holds 6, but that's just not cost effective when those 6 cost a dollar and 30 costs only 3 dollars, so I'm not going to talk about those because they're an abomination.)  And when I feel that moment of weakness coming on, and I buy that bag/box, I seem to be entirely incapable of getting to a point where I say "oh, I have eaten enough of these, I will put the rest away for later."  

Instead I eat the whole damn bag/box.*

In one sitting.

And almost immediately after I feel miserable and sick for about 24 hours.

Because when you finally train your body to properly process food that's really food, when you put the over-processed non-foodstuffs (aka everything an Oreo is about) into your body, your stomach is going to pitch a fit.

Does this stop me?  Well yeah. For about a week.

How do you motivate yourself to "get back on the wagon?"
I'm really asking.  Tell me in the comments, I want to know!

*When I say I eat the whole bag/box, I mean I will open it and plunk down next to the Mister on the couch with a glass of milk, and when the Mister asks for ONE - ONE single cookie out of 30, something in my brain will snap and I will look at him with a face that is reminiscent of a rabid badger. 






What best motivates me to keep on track, I believe, is that the Mister is a very social person.  I'm a bit of a introvert, so I think back in the day I would have just been like "whatever I'll stay in and get tubbier again and whatever who's going to see me?"  But the Mister is all "Hey I signed us up for a wine club that has regular events where you need to put yourself in a dress."  And thus I'm all "oh shoot son, I gotta make sure my butt looks good at those moments."

Vanity has it's place, y'all.

So we have a new event coming up, and here we're getting to the point of the post.  It's a MASQUERADE BALL.  Folks, I can't even.  It's like Halloween again!  And I'm pumped.  I went out and bought a bunch of those plastic Mardi Gras masks and I'm souping them up so The Mister and I can turn it out.  Except we're having some issues deciding what we want to be.  I figured let's have some fun and have the people vote!** 

What should KpMcD dress as for the ball?
  
pollcode.com free polls 
If you're not familiar, a Masquerade ball means you wear a mask to the event, but the rest of the attire is fairly formal.  Usually they are half-masks that artistically mimic an animal.  Cinderella's ball was a Masquerade.  I don't think the Mister and I need to necessarily match in our choices of animal, because if I'm making both  masks, they'll both look similar in style, and as they say on What not to Wear, you don't need to match, you need to go.  


What should The Mister dress as for the Ball?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

Something I didn't list that you think 
would be cooler for either one of us?  
Tell me in the comments!

**Obviously, I reserve the right so look at this poll and disagree with y'all, but most importantly, The Mister also has that right, particularly as I haven't really told him I was going to post this.  Hi, Mister, loooove you.

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Mac Does Something Awesome - Episode 5: Behind the Times!

Episode Five!

Poor guy, I'd imagine it's pretty hard to keep up with the cool internet trends when you're a dog.

(You can watch it below, or you can click here to watch it on YouTube full size!)




Have you gotten sick of the Harlem Shake yet?

Have you ever tried to follow a trend
,
 only to find out the trend has long since passed?

What are YOU ashamed of?




What would you like to see Mac do next?

Tell me in the comments!

Monday, March 04, 2013

A Poopy Day.

It was one of those bad days that I started feeling better about halfway through because I knew it would be a funny blog post.  Which... was comforting.

About two weeks ago Dora started feeling like she was wobbling as I drove.  There was a definite back and forth, "I'm a weeble" sensation as I went to and from work.  I told the Mister about it, but he reported that when he drove her, there wasn't a notable problem, that Dora was old, and that we'd get her looked at soon.  In the mean-time, no worries.

Who knows about cars?  
Who knows what's coming already?

So last Friday I'm driving to work, and making the mental note of "the weeble-wobbling has increased to the point that I can't sing along with the radio without my voice warbling a little bit.  I think it's officially time to take Dora in."

Of course, this is a thought-process I was having while going 72 miles per hour down the highway.  And then, of course (or at least, of course to YOU, because you have the hindsight to know this is not going to end well, and also because if you actually know me in real life you saw my Facebook rant on it), the following happens while looking in my rear-view mirror:


My brain must have known this would be traumatic for me.  Because my brain slowed down my thinking enough to process this visual before it processed the boom sound which logically, I know must have been simultaneous.

Dora's tire literally blew the eff up.  Her left back tire to be precise.  The wobbling I felt had been the giant bubble in the tire that should have been changed but we didn't make serious note of until it was too late.

Thankfully, I only peed my pants a little bit (there's full honesty for you), and I screamed like a little girl, but no one was in the car with me so I saved a bit of dignity there.  I managed to pull Dora off to the side of the road, and then, because I'm horrible at anything car related (as you may remember if you've been reading this blog for a while), I just kind of sat there for a bit.

I texted the Mister (because he could reasonably do anything from work a half hour away... or not), and he was kind enough to calm me down as usual.

A very nice police officer was kind enough to pull over and sit with me while we figured out the whole getting the spare put on situation.  Which was a doozy, because apparently Dora's previous owners left her spare in her, but took with them the tool needed to get the spare out, and the jack to put the spare on.  So in the end a tow truck responded and DID have the proper tools and got me all set and sent me off to work only a mere hour late.  I was impressed in any case, because he could have been a jerk who just said "oh no sorry I'll have to tow you so you're even more late to work and so I can charge you a ridiculous amount of money for the service"  and I wouldn't have known any better.


If you're the kind of person who might classify as a "gore-monger," (I know I am) and you live in the Kalamazoo area, you can still see a chunk of Dora's tire on 131 headed north, just before the exit for Stadium drive.  If you're not, then you can see the rest of the tire as it sits in the back of Dora herself.

Sexy.

Following what I was obviously a near death experience, I got to work and was still pretty keyed up about the whole thing, and so I stole into the bathroom for a second to splash some water on my face and re-center myself.  It was here that I discovered that along with ever-so-slightly peeing myself in sheer, unadulterated terror, I had managed to put my underwear on inside-out that morning.  We'll just go ahead and call that strike two for the day.

Strike three?
I walked out of the bathroom to find...
Poop.  Literally a giant, giant poop pile.

Sometimes walking in a pet store means that the pets who visit have accidents.  I understand that.  What I don't understand is when someone who has "taken on the responsibility of caring for said pet," lacks enough responsibility to watch their dog take a MASSIVE dookie in the middle of the aisle and then just saunter away from it.  Just... RUDE.*

Over the weekend this was posted to DogShaming's 
tumblr and it made me seethe with rage.

It shouldn't surprise me how often I happen upon an unattended pile of dog crap while working, but I just can't quite get over it.

Anyway.  That was my day.  How was yours?

Have you ever gotten a flat?  
Is there a good story to go along with it?
Tell me in the comments!

*One more time, with feeling:  the views expressed here on this blog do not reflect anyone's opinions but mine.  I am not writing here as a representative of my corporate pet-store employer.