Monday, December 03, 2012


I have no fun drawings for you today.  Here is why.

The Mister has owned this house for a while now.  Long before he met me.  And the house itself existed long before that.

Naturally, stuff happens every once in a while.  Stuff we are simply not equipped to deal with, not without the help of professionals.  Professionals with confidence to tackle your house's problems calmly and rationally.  That just comes with being home-owners.  I get that.  They are experts in your house's problems.  I am an expert in writing pithy blog posts with poor grammar.  They're more than welcome to fix that miscellaneous thing over me.

Thus, when you're calmly waiting on a professional to finish whatever job you've asked them to help with and you hear some curse-word or exclamation, that's a reasonable time to, you know, panic a bit.

I've been "lucky" enough to have heard this happen twice in my time living in this house.

The first time was when we re-did the upstairs bathroom.  The day came for them to install the sink, and when the plumber turned the water back on, the pipes burst.  The best part is that the pipes had apparently been leaking right at that spot for years anyway, and that resulted in the water-logged basement ceiling to cave in with a wave of stale water.  As this tidal wave hit our basement carpeting, he dropped a long string of very loud F-bombs, and I can't say it wasn't sort of appropriate to the situation.

The bill for repairing the pipes and the ceiling was a nice add-on as well.  We may have said our own string of curses.

Last week Friday the pipes in our kitchen sink clogged up something fierce.  These pipes have long been good at clogging, so please don't get too squicked out that we have a dedicated plunger for the kitchen sink.  Thus, Friday, sink clogs, Kp gets out the plunger, and about three good plunges in, the pipes beneath the sink burst open and floods the "cleaning products cabinet" with garbage disposal water.  Once we'd cleaned all that up and screwed the pipes back together, we decided not to incur the after-hours charges for a weekend plumber, and waited until this morning to call a professional.

The plumber guy just left.  He was very nice and professional, and he did, in fact, unclog our sink.  It involved using a rather large and intimidating machine to snake out the pipes.  And once he snagged and broke up the clog, he reeled the snake back up, catching the gross cloggy water and cloggy chunks in a bucket beneath the pipe access.

Then I heard it.


Which he shouted because he had knocked the completely full to the brim bucket over.  Inside the cabinet beneath the sink.

So I have no fun drawings for you today folks, because on top of washing the weekend worth of dishes (that are now kind of disgusting with caked on food dry grossness), I will be scrubbing the rotted grease and food bits out of the kitchen cabinetry so that I don't dry-heave at the smell of the room in which we prepare our food.  Though that mess is certainly an incredible sight, I will not be posting a picture of that.  Believe me:  You're. Welcome.

I believe the trend here is that plumbers are not my lucky charm.

Have you ever had a professional scream obscenities at a horrible thing 
that they inadvertently did in/ to your home?  
Or just a horrible contractor / home repair story?  
I'd like some company in my misery people.  
Hit me up in the comments.


Queen Holly the Magnificent said...

We just fix things ourselves. Although in those situations I just leave everything out of the area until the danger has passed, because I learned the hard way too. Sometimes fixing things yourself if pretty great though, becasue we can just fix when it breaks if we have all the parts in question.

Other times I have only instructions on the internet, tools and a prayer. Those times are less fun.

Jamie said...

Christmas eve 2010. Mike was still living in Montreal, so our time together was very limited and I was really hoping for a nice Christmas Eve dinner with family.

Well, he had an "issue" at his house of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation epic proportions. As in the septic tank overflowed. Shitter's full. On Christmas eve. Granted, he was able to get some roto-rooter or something to come and fix it, but it took all damn night and was expensive as all high holy hell.

Kp said...

okay Jamie: wow. WOWWOWOWOW. That's so gross I want to jump around in a circle flapping my hands and shouting "Ewwwwwwwwwww!"

Holly: Wow for a completely different reason. I don't have anywhere near the confidence to just roll up my sleeves like that. Kudos.