Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Wedding Wednesday - The Bridal Party

Welcome back to Wedding Wednesday!

I've gotten exactly 3 questions about my wedding attendants.  So today I want to show off my five best beautiferous friends who stood with me on the big day, and put those queries to rest.  Or at least kick a little dirt on 'em.  

QUESTION #1:  Five Friends?
You will see only four in the pictures.  Let me 'splain.

When the Mister and I sat down to talk turkey on this whole wedding party deal, he (being Mr. Popularity) was all "let's have a bajillion people stand up for us!"  And I was all "let's chillax a bit on that home-slice."  My reasons:

1.  The more people standing up, the more people you have to coordinate
2.  The more people standing up, the more opportunity for drama
3.  Just in case you didn't know, weddings are expensive y'all.  More people? More money.

But really the most important point here:
4.  I am one of those people who has many friends, but only a few (aka exactly 5) very good friends.  

A long time ago when I first wrote about how anxious I was to ask my wedding party to... you know, BE my wedding party, I was given some very good advice in the comments.  It nicely summed up to "figure out who you wouldn't want to get married without.  Those are the people who should be up there with you."

Thus, the line up began with: 
  • BFFJ, Matron of Honor extraordinaire (from Washington state)
  • Leeners, Magnificent Maid of Honor (from Georgia)
  • AJ, Bridesdude(weiser) (from Illinois)
  • Kate, Bitchin' Bridesmaid (from Michigan)
And then.  Cue babies!

BFFJ, AJ, and Kate were all expecting new little ones to enter the world within a few months of the big day.  Let me be super clear that I am BEYOND GEEKED as the now faux-auntie to five fantastic kiddos (if you did the math, three pregnancies equals five kiddos because AJ had one mini dude already, and Sunny hasn't been introduced yet but she has a little man as well).  

All that said, I'm not above admitting that somewhere in February when I was adding up everyone's due-dates, I asked Leeners to not drink the punch.

Fortunately, in the case of AJ and Kate, they lived close enough and babies were born early enough that while a bit tricky, they were able to make it work.  (added bonus - this also equalled tiny tiny tuxedoes.  ADORABLE.)

BFFJ called me sometime in late Feb to try and break the news to me that she wasn't going to be able to schedule her baby to arrive in a convenient timeline.  You might know BFFJ in real life - if you do, then you know she is a very organized and timely lady, so if she could have, she totally would have marked a calendar with an appointment stickie for when BabyJ was to arrive.  Alas, instead he was due the week before the wedding, and BFFJ couldn't change that as much as she wanted to.  From so far away, there would be no BFFJ at the wedding.

An unfortunate phone call to receive, but not so much from the stand-point of "BFFJ isn't coming to my wedding!" as it was unfortunate from "BFFJ actually thought I might be mad that her baby's due-date conflicts with my wedding!"  BFFJ was so excited to be preggers, and dammit she SHOULD be.  Folks, we live in an age of technology.  If there was ever a time when I could have a Matron of Honor from the other side of the country, well hell, this would be it.

Plus, if BFFJ couldn't physically be there, then I had space to ask Sunny to join in the fun!  She already has a lovely little 3 year old, and as far as I knew she wasn't pregnant, so we were set there. Ha.

Meanwhile, my attendants did a fantastic job not only bringing Sunny up to speed with the gig, but also making sure BFFJ stayed in the loop.  Including day of, when they set up a quick Skype check-in.  

So that worked out perfectly.  All five of the besties were with me in one way or another.

QUESTION #2:  Um.  That's a dude.  On your side.  Say what now?

I was super unaware this was such a thing.  Sure, not the 100% most conventional way to set up a wedding party, but I never once thought of doing it differently.  And you know made that work even better?  The Mister has a bestie who happens to be a lady.  So it was balanced.  Cue Bridesdude and Groomschick.  

When planning out the wedding, anytime the subject of a man standing on my side came up, people asked me -very incredulously- *legasp!* but how will it work?!  And I just... it's not that hard, people.  Ready?

See that?  He wore a tux (though he did offer to wear a coordinating kilt).  He stood on my side.  The Groomschick wore a dress and stood with the Mister.  He walked up with the Groomschick and left with her.  And after I was ready and dressed for the day, he hung out with us in the ladies room, while the Groomschick hung out with the Mister.

there are lady-toilets 20 feet to our left.

Aside from just the awesome of AJ being there with me, he also turned out to be super helpful in things like "what's the situation with the tuxes?", "how are the guys doing getting ready?",  "can you find my dad?"  and of course "OMG we're walking somewhere can you keep the Mister hidden so he can't see me?!" (this worked conversely in the Mister's favor as the groomschick was on her game helping the communication line as well.)

We only hit one snafu the whole day, and that was making sure he wasn't standing next to me in pictures so people didn't get confused as to who the groom was.  And wouldn't you know our photographer was pretty on her game on that one, so not a snafu at all.

QUESTION #3:  How did you pick what they wore?

This is an easy one:  I didn't.

There are certainly different ways to approach this line of thinking, but here was mine:  There is not one dress that universally flatters everyone, and AJ wasn't gonna wear a dress anyway (Though there was a brief conversation when the Mister was selecting the tuxes for his men where I had to put my foot down on the pinstripe / coat-tails/ fedora combo.  We are not the mob).  

These people all have their own personalities and I would rather they feel comfortable in their skin and enjoy themselves than worry about some ruffle or sequin pattern making them feel self-concious.  So I said unto them: 
Lo, my friends.  I'd like you to find a knee-length dress in "Horizon."  Go forth.
(I need you to know that I really wanted to put a picture here of myself doing that hand thing that the pope does when he blesses people, where I had photoshopped a halo and a little pope hat on my head.  But then I got done making that picture and immediately realized it was the most blasphemous thing I'd ever made.  So maybe if you just imagine it I won't be sent to quite so deep a level of hell.)

The best part is that if I would have sat down with a David's Bridal catalog before that conversation and took a guess, I'm almost 100% positive that I would have been able to pair each gal with exactly what she picked out.  I love that they look like them.

And since we were on a roll there, they picked their own shoes too.  Paricularly notable there were Kate's kick-ass leopard shoes, or our Groomschick's wonderfully sparkly gold glitter shoes.

Lastly, BFFJ hooked us all up with some fabu jewelry.  Which, wouldn't you know, I didn't get a picture of.  But I promise it was all beautiful.

So there you have it.  The best five people I could have imagined.  In their own way, each of them made the day all the more special*, I could never thank them enough for that.  So instead I'll end by sharing stupid pictures of each of us in the photobooth.  Booyah.

In order:  Leeners, Kate, AJ, and Sunny [click to embiggen]

And of course, BFFJ on her own wedding day (and me 30 pounds ago!), looking gorg as usual.

How did you/ Will you pick your wedding attendants?
How did you/ will you pick your bridesmaid dresses?
Fun Bridal party annecdotes?  Let's hear 'em in the comments!

 *One of the more special things my attendants did for me was that each of them sat down and wrote me a letter before the wedding.  Heartfelt words of encouragement, friendship, and marriage advice.  If you are ever a bridesmaid I recommend beyond words.  I truly treasure them.


Kate Y said...

This post made my heart happy! So glad you picked me! :)

Queen Holly the Magnificent said...

I pretty much did what you did, except that I told my bridesmaid (I had only one, small wedding) to pick a dress that matched my gown and off we went.

Danielle said...

I love seeing these posts! Weddings are the best!

Kp said...

So glad you're diggin' these posts y'all. And Holly... I'm pretty sure you should blog about your wedding. Because I'm curious after all these comments.

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