Friday, September 14, 2012

Hi-Ate-Us.

Friends.  I have to.  It's time.

I have hit the timeline where there are simply not enough hours in the day to continue working on wedding, keep the house in shape, be a person, a good dog/cat mom, and be a good fiancee while still blogging.  And I had told myself that when I came to the point where it was more a nuisance than a joy to hit that little button which starts a new blog post... then it was time to take a break.

That time has come.

This Wednesday I just couldn't find five spare minutes to sit down and be on a computer.  And yesterday didn't look any better.  And the weeks coming up?  Are just going to get more hectic.  So I tell you what.  I'll see you all in November. 

By that time I will be a Mrs., I'll have been on a honeymoon, and I'll have survived through two receptions.  So I am sure there will be plenty of good stories.  I suggest my top 10 for some reading in the meantime.

1.  How to Make the Coolest Fridge ever.
          A tutorial on how to make a kick ass beer fridge.

2.  My Bridal Bazinga
          My trip to pick out a wedding dress.
3.  We Are Far From Glistening Over Here.
          This post is mostly about boobs.
4.  The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly - But not quite in that order.
          Trying on the most ridiculous thing I could possibly find at a TJ Maxx
5.  The Prom Garter
          The story of my prom.  It's funny... now.
6.  The Wholly Helpful, and Horribly Hindering, C
          C, our Mexican friend who kept us alive in Mexico, and will be visiting us in just a week!
7.  Bridezilla
          I would love to talk to you about anything besides my upcoming nuptials.

8.  What I did on my Summer Vacation [Which was neither in the summer or a vacation]
9.  Shipping and Handling
          One of the more amusing gifts I've gotten.
10.  Let Me Draw Your Spirit Animal
          The beginning of the Audience Participation Friday streak.


Take care, And for the last time with these initials...

Love Peace and Chicken Grease,
Kp


Monday, September 10, 2012

So Bad it's Good... or something.

A few months back, I remember talking to my mom on the phone about the Avengers movie coming out.  Fiance and I had already gone to see it, complete with Spanish subtitles, in a swanky Mexican theater the week it came out.  Mom was debating checking it out, but I told her she should probably watch the superhero movies that preceeded it: Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and Thor, specifically.

She called me back a few days later to tell me how horrible Thor the movie was.  And I was all Hur?  How is this a bad movie?
wink right back atcha there buddy.

So I jokingly asked her "are you sure you watched the right movie?"

Turns out she hadn't.



Instead of THOR, mum had rented Almighty Thor.  A slight difference in title, and larger difference in the preview up there.

I laughed so, SO hard.  How could mum have made such a silly mistake?  Truly ridiculous, and one I would never make.

Until I did.

This weekend, Fiance and I got a few redboxes to watch.  We were both pretty excited about our selection of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  Both of us were amazed it was out on DVD already.  So we got home and popped it in.

We sat through a few questionable previews - clearly B-list horror movie type fare.  And then we got to the title screen, and finally actually read the title of the movie we were about to watch:

Abraham Lincoln vs. the Zombies.

We maybe should have caught that something was "off
by this being the display image for the movie on the red box machine.  

But we've already paid the buck-something for it... so we hit play.  It was HORRIBLE.  However, "Spoiler Alert," I'm going to tell you how suddenly it was awesomely bad in the best way possible.



We start with Abe as a child bearing the responsibility of killing his own mother with a scythe because she's been afflicted with a terrible disease that turned her zombie.  Fast forward to Abe as president, prepping his speech for Gettysburg, when his new secret service informs him that there are newly zombified people at a fort in the confederacy and he decides he has to help.  At the fort, he and his 12 secret servicemen encounter zombies, but more hilariously, they start encountering people from the history books that are really weirdly woven into the tale.  Stonewall Jackson has been trapped at the fort by the Zombie onslaught.  One of the secret servicemen turns out to not be John Wilkinson, as he states, but *gasp!* John Wilkes Booth, assassin extraordinaire.

And then the absolute best scene happens:  On a mission to reclaim some of the nearby village from the Zombie hoard, Abe and his crew roll deep into a brothel, where they run into a whore who Abe had some kind of fling with back in the day, and her daughter.  And.  AND.  With them is a little boy that had been orphaned by the Zombie plague and taken in by the ladies of ill-repute.  He shakes Abe's hand and introduces himself as Theodore flipping Roosevelt.

So Abe explains that they're going to have to fight their way back to the fort, and tells young Teddy, "I'm sorry we haven't more weapons to share with you."

You know what he says next?  Do you?  Because Both Fiance and I made a joke here, but then it actually happened and we nearly pooped.

Did you guess?


I have to believe the entire movie came about after the 'writers' thought up that one single line.  Because who wouldn't make a movie just so that moment could happen?

Anyway, it was all pretty downhill from there.  Once Fiance and I stopped hysterically laughing, the crappy special effects, super-sub-par acting, and flat-lined plot sort of took the rest of the fun out of the night.   If you're really dying to know, they fight back the Zombies, but in the end Abe gets bit, and then John Wilkes Booth takes him out.  Fin.

So we finished the evening with Casa de mi Padre, the Will Ferrel movie that's all in Spanish.  Which was horrible, but at least we knew that one was going to be horrible when we rented it.

Have you ever been duped by a movie like this?  
Or really, what was the best-horrible movie you've seen?  
I want to know!  Hit me up in the comments!
That, while ridiculous, was also pretty fun.  I think we'd be down to do it again, but on purpose this time.

Dreaded 29 Update:  -21, 8 to go!

Friday, September 07, 2012

Work out

So my thumb.  

Early last month, you may recall, our stuff came home from Mexico.  I was so excited about getting everything back into place that I rushed the process, and as with many things I get excited about, I totally overdid it.

But only when it came to my thumb on my dominant hand.

I sprained the crap out of it.  It turned purple, I wore a brace for a week or so, and I had a few days where I was really mad about pickles because I couldn't open the jar.  The biggest change here was that I couldn't comfortably hold a pen/pencil to draw out a whole doodle as I'm so wont to do on this little blog.  It was a bummer to say the least.


Now the thing with (non-serious) sprains is that they say the only way they're going to get better is to "walk it off.

Or so I've been told.  See also: why I quit soccer as a kid.

When Fiance informed me that he picked up a habit of rock-climbing while he was in Mexico without me, I saw a pretty awesome opportunity to get back into the swing of things.  So off to Climb Kalamazoo we went.  Where I promptly set up camp in the corner with a sketchbook and stared at people like a complete creeper while getting some really intense figure drawing practice to work out my thumb muscles.  Wanna see?  'Course you do.

Fiance, trying to act all cool, and then climbing up the wall I was watching over

hangin' on the walls

my favorites - this guy was really swinging all over the place like an orangutan.


What are YOUR thoughts on rock climbing?  Comments y'all - hit me up.

Fiance is all about it... I... well, my fear of heights has gotten quite soundly in the way of me trying it out just yet.  Which is weird considering I'd totally scale a tree in a second flat.  Maybe it's that you have to strap yourself in so much to climb a rock wall.  Makes me feel like there's more of a safety risk?

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Stepping Out

Obligatory mushy moment (you knew that was coming, right?):

Fiance is home from Mexico.   He's only been here for five days and already I feel so much more... happy isn't quite the right word.  A big part of it, certainly.  Secure, maybe?  Seeing him in the airport I got such a rush of relief, and comfort, and thankfulness, and hoo.   It was a definite reaffirmation that I am about to marry just the right dude for me.  (calendar check: we have 1 month left. woah.)

***

Coming home over the holiday weekend meant we had four full days to catch back up with each other before he had to report to work. And while plenty happened during that time, you'll excuse me if I save those happy little blips to myself.  Let's instead talk about the walk I just took.

Fiance and I are currently sharing Dora the Explorer custody, and this works out pretty okay in my head because we live right by the mall/ target (pronounced tar-jhay)/ a grocery store, so when he's at work with the vehicle, I honestly can't pinpoint anything I would have need for that I couldn't simply walk to.  And then I have an excuse to exercise, which is great because I've always had a much better success when there is a purpose behind whatever I'm doing.

Today I wandered over to the Target and back, and I wracked up a few random observations for you.
  • Fiance was worried about me crossing a particularly busy street in town.  As I suspected, it was easy as pie because that is what traffic lights and those little crosswalk signals are for.  No no, the hard part ended up being "avoiding imminent, car-death while crossing in front of the Subway driveway."

 This lady seriously flew out of nowhere, screeched her tires to stop in time to not hit me (who pulls into a parking lot going that fast?) and then beeped, flipped me off, and screamed something at me through her window that I imagine had a lot of four letter words in it.  Crazy.

  • There was a man biking behind me on the sidewalk. I appreciate that he announced himself so I knew to move to the side when he passed me, but his method was... jarring.

He shouted over his shoulder that he thought the barking would startle me less than if he yelled at me.  Since I was momentarialy convinced I was about to get mauled by a vicious wolf-dog, I'd say he missed his mark.

I walked through one of my shoes on the way back.  The way back coincides with passing by the mall.  So I have new shoes, but here's my actual question:  When did the Payless customer service policy evolve into badgering the customer during their shopping experience like they're the Potter Puppet Pals and I'm Severus Snape?  (you can click that link for some context if you're totally out of the loop here... or if you want it stuck in your head)


I guess my biggest beef with being so attentively/ aggressively helped is that they totally cornered the market on cheap shoes that have some arch support.  And so after all that I still gave them $19.99.
but they're kinda cute at least, right?

What kind of shopper are you?  Do you like getting a lot of help?  Tell me in the comments! 

 I honestly would rather find everything on my own even if it takes me more time to search because otherwise I feel weirdly obliged to buy something.  I think this drives Fiance nuts as he is more apt to walk straight up to someone 5 seconds after entering a store and say "this is my list, where is it?"