Saturday, August 18, 2012

Since a Child.

Oh, good gravy.  Maybe I can still get a post up before Friday ends on the west coast.  It's past 11PM here EST, and I have nothing of real value to contribute to the inter-webs today.  

My hand is still jank, though getting better.  But I can't yet give you doodles.

And then I've spent the entire day (with the exception of a quick walk around the mall), sewing my garters.  So I don't exactly have any exciting stories to share.  Though I can tell you the salted caramel latte at Gloria Jeans is pretty bomb.

It's been a lovely day - there isn't as much stress in making my garters as there has been for other aspects of the wedding, because no one else gets to care about what those look like except me and Fiance.  And I'm pretty sure he doesn't care at all past the fact that he gets to take them off me.  So I've enjoyed feeling productive and self-absorbed all day.

Moving forward, I have exactly one random thought to pluck from my brain today and share with you, fair readers.

During the day while I putz around the house, I am by myself.  I like a little background noise, it keeps my brain going through even monotonous things like sweeping birdseed off the kitchen floor.*  Thus, I have heard one particular commercial about... oh say, a thousand times.

Do you have an Everest College anywhere near you?  It's a technical college with many satellite campuses, and they specialize in certification training for students looking to get into the work force and support/ better themselves.

Excellent.  As you may have gathered from that whole "past career as a college administrator," I am definitely pro-learning.  But then there's this gal:

hey there, screen grab, what up?

She's in almost all of Everest's commercials discussing their medical assistant training.  Of course I can't find the main one that plays on a virtual loop here in Kalamazoo, because that would be helpful to this post... but in it, she spits out the following line:

"I've always wanted to be in the medical field since a child."

Just... read it again.

"I've always wanted to be in the medical field SINCE A CHILD."

That's the whole thing.  I didn't cut it off at the end or anything.

So, "since a child... {what?}"

  • Since a child died in your arms from polio and you couldn't save it but with it's dying breaths whispered "Lisa, you should become a medical assistant." And then little Timmy sputters and... *le dead*?  Since then?  Sad, but sure.  
  • Since a child turned into a zombie and ate your pet hamster, so you vowed to avenge Mr. Fluffington's death by researching the cure for Zombism?  Maybe.
  • Since a child beat you in a hot dog eating contest and you realized you were out of all other possible career paths?  I could see that.

Or did you just miss a whole flipping part of that sentence?  Like "...since [I WAS] a child?"  I'm thinking that's more it.  But you know what?  That's kind of an important part, because it really brings the whole thing together in a nice, fluid statement which actually contains all the proper parts of a sentence.  

Either way, I don't blame her; I don't speak (or for that matter type) with 100% English grammar accuracy.  But if [I was] her (see what I bolded there?), I'd be pretty pissed.

This is a national commercial.  Yet, no one on the production team could stop her for a second and ask her to re-shoot that 10 seconds using a sentence which would pass 2nd grade grammar?

Nope, apparently not.  Now she's advertising an institution of higher learning, from which she is a graduate, even though she demonstrates less intelligence in her verbal communication than a 7 year old (to be fair I have a masters degree and a severe addiction to run-on sentences... but still).

Sure makes you wish she was YOUR medical assistant, doesn't it?  Writing important stuff on your medical charts... the charts your doctor will later use to see which of your legs he has to amputate?  Yeah.  She's probably fine.

This ad also super motivates me toward wanting to further my learning at such a College.  [lie.]

I just have to wonder how great an education you can get at Everest if that's the kind of representation they put out to the world as an esteemed grad of their program.  Frankly it's lazy.  You can do better Everest.

And Miss Since-a-child?  You could do better too.

I do so very much hope this doesn't come across as a "grammar nazi" attack.  If for no other reason than I think for the most part starting internet wars about the difference between your, you're, their, there, and they're just makes one look like an arrogant elitist.

As someone who has experience in the world of advertising, I know how important it is to represent your brand in a way that makes you seem like you know... stuff.  Things.  Facts.  Expertise in your area.  Miss Since-a-child, the video production team at Everest has failed you horribly there.  Go back to them.  Tell them "I've always wanted to present myself in an intelligent manner to my peers.  Yes. I've wanted that ever since [I was] a child.  NOW RESHOOT THIS SPOT you polio-inflicted, hamster-eating, hot-dog bingeing zombies**!"

I mean, that's what I'd do.  

Do you have any commercials/ shows/ ads/ that you just CAN'T STAND 
because of some really glaring and easily fixable error?  
I want to hear about it in the comments!

*While I was at the mall, Mac decided to shuck all conventional stereotypes against being a doberman, and instead of chewing his way into the dog food to be naughty, he instead decided to eat the wild bird seed I bought for the backyard.  Great stuff to come home to.  [lie.]

He's going to make a very handsome cardinal.  Though god help him when he tries to sit on a telephone wire with his new peers.

In related news, this might have to happen now.

**That's a fantastically disorienting insult.  I have to remember that for later use.

1 comment:

Queen Holly the Magnificent said...

I'm still traumatized by the HEAD ON commercials from like, four years ago when I had TV. Apply directly to the forehead.