Monday, May 07, 2012

We are Far From "Glistening" Over Here.

14 weeks in, and I think it may finally be safe to say: "I'm A Runner."

I didn't want to write this post any sooner.  I didn't want to jinx myself and fall off the wagon.  They say "It only takes 30 days to make a habit," ... but then they also say "Girls don't sweat, they glisten."  

Friends, I do not glisten when I run.  I sweat like a previously well-hydrated pig, so you can understand that with one popular idiom proven horribly, HORRIBLY wrong, I needed to give the other phrase just a little but of extra "cooking" time.

Here I am, 'glistening.'  Oh yeah, I look totally hot.  As in temperature.

Can I be really honest though?  It's a mighty powerful feeling to keep myself running long enough to make my clothing look like I forgot to take my clothes off before a shower.  If only I smelled like I had taken a shower.  But whatever, this isn't smello-vision, so you're not suffering by any means, and it's paying off slowly but surely.  (and I take a shower immediately following the daily run, stop judging)

I'm really proud to be able to say I'm in this so far now.  But it was really, REALLY, hard to motivate myself enough to actually start.  I thought I'd share, because I feel like maybe my original reason for continuing to just sit on the couch is a similar reason for other gals.

What's that reason?

Do you have boobs?  I do.  In fact, I happen to be "blessed" in the boob area, as some may say.  

Somewhere in the world there is a picture of me stuck in my bed from freshman year, because I had stuffed myself between two ladder rungs in order to adjust a pillow on my bed (my bed was the bottom bunk), and then was unable to pull myself back out because... boobs.  My room mate may remember this. I believe she was the one to take the picture,  and point / laugh at me, while yelling across the hall to our friends to help pull me out.  To be fair, I saw a pretty good amount of comedic gold in the situation too.  

If you have boobs, you know where I'm going with this.  If you don't, here is why I didn't want to start running, in animated gif form:

I made this look far more flattering/ Bay Watch-like than it really is in real life.  That kind of crazy bouncing is wildly uncomfortable.  Basically what I'm saying is I was reluctant to start running because I didn't want to smack myself in the jaw every time I took a step.

And then my penchant for reading internet comics saved me:

TWO sports bras at the same time?  Brilliant!
And thus, Couch to 5K and I became friends.

If you haven't heard of Couch to 5K, and you have ever wished to start running, friends, I urge you to try it out.  It's a 9 week program which will start you out very slowly (running in increments of 1 minute with long walking interludes in-between)  and even though I'll be the first to admit that the first week I was all "ugh running for an entire MINUTE without stopping for a break?  I'm gonna die," 9 weeks later I was totally capable of running for 30 minutes straight.  So I moved on to the Couch to 10K program, and I'm well on my way to being able to run for somewhere around an hour straight.  A few more weeks left on that one.

Now we're planning my return trip to the states in a few weeks, and I find myself wondering; "If I've put all this work into training for a 5K and/or 10K, wouldn't it be kind of trippy/awesome to actually RUN in one once I'm back home?"

I've never actually registered for a run, and so before I hit the "Search" button on google, it had not occurred to me that there are some WEIRD causes/ reasons to organize a 5K out there.  And yet, here are some races in which I could feasibly participate, located in Michigan - I haven't put a single joke in here, these are all 100% legitimate.

  • The Mud Run - the cause is getting clean water to 3rd world nations.  The premise is that you run through a veritable obstacle course that is designed to make sure you are head-to-toe coated in mud once you're done.
  • Beat the Grandmas Race - If you run in this race you are expected to dress up like a grandmother (including a mask or makeup).  The faster contestants will win grandma-themed prizes at the end like cookie jars.  
  • The Nude Run - I believe the premise here is fairly obvious.  See above bouncing gif for one of many reasons that I shall not be running in this race.
  • Strut for the Strays - a benefit for the Humane Society.  Nothing really out of the ordinary about this one, I just wanted to copy the link here so I could find it faster later when I actually make a decision and register for one of these.
  • The Color Run - You start the race with a white shirt.  Throughout the run, people pelt you with colored powder.  At the end there's a celebration much like you'd see in a Holi celebration.  Come on, that's just awesome.\
  • The Dare Devil Dash - This race includes a giant slip-n-slide at the end.  ...That's... well you know me, that's super tempting.

I'm not sold on any one race yet - I need to get back to the Kalamazoo area and back to running (it's going to be a bit tough to get my legs going during my drive) - but friends, am I missing a good one that's taking place in late June- August?  
I'd like a 5K FUN RUN in or around Kalamazoo.  Let me know in the comments!


1.  Did you see the Pin It button there?  I figured out how to pimp myself on pinterest now.   So if you like what you read and want to share it in a non-facebook capacity?  Feel free to pin away friends.  I also have set up a KpQuePasa pin board that you are more than welcome to follow if you like. :)  I've gone through and put a pin on my more popular stuff, and I'll put a pin on each post from here on out I think. Woot!

2.  Fiance takes such good care of me.  See what he did here?  


AJ Hauser said...

The keywords in the alone will net you about 5,000 clicks. Another solid post - congrats on the running, and nice sippy! HA!

Kp said...

Dudeweiser, true story. Since posting it, I've gotten x4 my usual hits. I should write about boobs more often I guess.

Karen said...

My first 5k was part of the Girls on the Run organization: ( I think it's a great organization that promotes young girls to be who they are. It's a fun run, so you're not timed. It shows the girls that they are all winners. Clearly I have not run the one in Kalamazoo, but I'd recommend checking it out.

Karen said...

OH! And I completely forgot to address your bra situation. Thank God for another blog I read. Here is her post about the bra that got her through her latest marathon: The one I use is similar, it's based on cup/band size, just a different brand. I have to say I love it! I'm not very big, but can totally tell the difference when I use the lame S/M/L sports bras. A little pricey, yes. But well worth it if you ask me

Queen Holly the Magnificent said...

Oh god, I have the same problem. Not that I would voluntarily run any where, but yeah. They bounce. And pull. And sometimes sawdust gets down my tank top and into my bra.

Kp said...

Karen you are awesome on both counts. I checked out the GotR - Looks like I'll still be here when they go through Michigan, but I'll keep them in mind for the future. And this bra... I'm tempted to put it on our wedding registry... would that be weird? I mean, there's already mustache cookie cutters on there.

Kp said...

also. SUPER BOO to sawdust in with the twins. Holy chaffing batman.

Kate Y said...

FYI... the right (and usually expensive) sports bra negates the need for 2. Having been a runner in a past life, I would HIGHLY recommend getting yourself a few really good ones. It will make ALL the difference!

And, wish I could run with you... but, I will happily be on the sidelines cheering you on. Just warning... KALAMAZOO IS HILLY! Don't want you to end up on crutches like I did!

Karen said...

KP, you should totally buy a supportive sports bra! Or maybe you're right...KP, you should totally put a supportive sports bra on your registry. Neither has the same ring as 'buying a sleeping bag.'