Monday, March 05, 2012


Did your high school give out Superlatives?  You know, the list of the "Most likely to be a Doctor" or "Most Changed" or "Cutest Couple" that's forever chronicled in the back of your yearbook?

Were you awarded one of these by your peers? What was it?

Fiance and I went out to eat lunch over the weekend, and I asked him the same question.  He, in fact, HAD been awarded a superlative in high school:  Most Likely to Rule the World.  

If you know Fiance, then you know this is still a fairly fitting label for him.  I am happy to be so perfectly positioned to become the "Pinky" of that operation.  Because as soon as we're done taking over the world?  Totally excited to find chaps our size. (you have to actually click the link to get that one.)

The reason I brought the subject up was because a family was seated a few tables away from us, and the little girl in the family was rocking some light up shoes.

If you're wondering how that possibly ties together, it's because I won a superlative in High School too:
Least Likely to Ever Grow Up.

That's a true story friends.  And that little girl's shoes made me think of it, because seriously you guys, light up shoes are the coolest.  If you have a child, please get them light-up shoes.  Or tell me and I'll get them light up shoes.  Every kid needs light up shoes, because they're WAY harder to find as an adult.

...what I'm saying is that my superlative is quite fitting still as well.

My HS wasn't super large- around two-thousand kids, so 500 per class.  When the class of '02 (yes. 10 years. I know.) were handed their superlative nomination forms during homeroom one day, I knew immediately that I had to start a campaign:  Best Artist would be mine.  Oh yes.  It would be mine.  

Here's the thing about these types of awards, and where I give my HS a ton of credit:  It's not a "fair shot for all" type of game (I know, you're stunned at this news).  In fact, for many of these set-ups, I would wager that maybe the same 10 popular people win everything.    But the rules were smartly set up for ours in that each person would only win ONE award - once you'd cashed in, it was someone else's turn.  I'm fairly certain that's the only reason this story turns out in this way.

I asked all of my friends to vote for me in the Best Artist category - and who knows, maybe they did.  Ballots were turned in and votes were tallied.  Because we're from the perceived "snobby" suburb of Green Bay, the awards were to be announced at a banquet for all the Seniors and their families.  When the evening came, my parents and I dressed up and headed out to celebrate the "achievements" of a bunch of 18 year olds.  I was excited to be recognized by my peers for my artistic talents.

Best Artist was announced maybe 5th or 6th, and [spoiler!] it wasn't me. I was devastated.  (Note:  just this past weekend the actual winner of Best Artist all those years ago also won a ReBrand award for her work with a dental hygiene supplier's graphic rebranding.  Mad congrats ma'am, that's phenomenal.  Also for the record, I'm totes comfortable saying the best lady won.)

At that moment, in my head I was spewing hate.  They just don't understand my work.  I am the next Vincent Van Gogh, they'll see how wrong they were once I'm dead!  I was just about to pick up the butter knife and start sawing away at my ear (possibly because then I could claim I was crying because of physical pain instead of the twisted emotional gauntlet my heart was suffering at such a let-down), when the evening's MC's came upon "Least Likely to Ever Grow Up."

They said MY NAME.

And then they held up my award: A certificate (which I still have somewhere), and a HULA HOOP.

If your high school decides to give out an award like "Least Likely to Ever Grow Up," here's the two-steps to identify instantly if you've picked the right person to win it.  Upon announcement of the winner:

  1. Everyone else at the table the winner is sitting at looks really embarrassed on behalf of the winner for basically being declared most childish.
  2. The winner sees none of this because they just won a TOY, and jumps up from their chair, squeals, and immediately tries to hula hoop but fails and just keeps laughing.

Good job peers, you got it 100% right.

I had slightly less fortunate fashion sense back then.

That little girl in the restaurant made me think how I would still rock a pair of of light up shoes*.  How I still have a VCR hooked up because it's how I watch the Lion King on a so-frequent-its-unhealthy basis.  How I briefly pondered the idea of pop-up wedding invites (don't worry Fiance, I nixed that in lieu of other things we've discussed), and how this blog wouldn't be nearly as entertaining if I didn't fully embrace that ability to be full-tilt silly.  And by association, she also made me think about how sad it is that I still haven't learned how to hula hoop.

If you got a superlative award, was it as dead on as mine was/ continues to be?  
And if you didn't because those stupid plastics swept every category, what SHOULD you have won?

* Continued example of LLtEGP being a good fit - years later I was in college and out shopping for shoes to go with my end of the year RA banquet at ShopKo (if you're not from Wisconsin... it's like a Meijer).  As I walked down the shoe aisle there was a woman holding a pair of clear plastic heels.  She smacked the heel of one against her palm and it lit up like a Christmas Tree.  In hindsight, I realize this woman was judging these shoes mercilessly for their tackiness.  At the time, I was terrified that she was goign to buy them when I instantly knew that I had to have the pair of light up adult shoes.  So I PUSHED HER OUT OF THE WAY, grabbed them, and walked straight to the cash register.  Only later was it pointed out to me by friends at this banquet that I was essentially wearing stripper shoes.

These are pretty much exactly what they looked like.  
...Can someone tell me why they were being sold in "family friendly" ShopKo?!
And no, I do not still have them. Though I only got rid of them because the batteries died.


1.  The Dreaded 29 Update: -8, 21 to go!
2.  Perhaps this is actually a continuation of the post's subject matter, but Mac is officially our Ring Bearer for the wedding.  I'm excited, to say the least.  Mac is... well right now he's sleeping, but I'm sure he's excited in his heart.  I love etsy and it's plethora of stupid silly stuff like dog bow-ties.


Rikki said...

How do I not remember that you got that award? I mean, other than being a year younger than you so not having attended your banquet. But still.

I was so pissed because I didn't get most talkative. Jamie Schmitz beat me out. I don't think I got anything else then, which let me tell you, proved that I was officially the most uncool girl in our class. I would have killed to get Least Likely to Grow Up.

Kate Y said...

I was "Best Leader" or "Most Likely to Become President". I believe it was posted one way when they announced them on super, unfancy posters in the senior hallway, and the other way in the yearbook. Though, both were actual categories. So, to this day, I do not know which one I actually won.

I was really hoping for "Most Likely to Become a Movie Star" but, didn't get it. My classmates must have had a crystal ball!