Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Shipping and Handling.

"Dude, I'm sending you a box. Is there anything you want me to throw in there that you're missing?"
"OMG Basil. They don't sell it down here!"
"Done and done. There's an organic market here, I'll get you some good basil. Keep your eyes peeled for a box - I'll put it in the mail tomorrow!"

Famous last words. From the beginning of NOVEMBER.

(let me restate for the masses: if you want to send us a box, check the left hand side of this blog - I keep a rolling list of stuff we'd love to receive!)

Backing up for a second - my BFFJ and I have a long standing tradition of gift-giving. Since we parted ways after College, she's lived in (the state of) Washington and I've lived... well somewhere else, and so we've kept in touch via the miracle of the internet and through sending boxes back and forth to each other. Somewhere along the line, unspoken rules for these boxes evolved as such:
  1. Boxes shall be sent for birthdays and Christmas.
  2. Boxes are not for one large present. They should contain multiple, small gifts - the more the merrier.
  3. The gifts within must be as silly, senseless, childish, and occasionally inappropriate as possible.
  4. At least one thing in that box should be lovingly hand-made with the other person in mind (BFFJ has gotten paintings and aprons from me, I get earrings from her. You should all be jealous. She needs her own etsy monster.)
  5. Boxes are given a GRACE PERIOD - that is, the box shall be sent, but not until the sender has a proper array of silly things to fill it. (This means that you will typically receive your box a month or two after either your birthday or Christmas. And it shall be a very merry unbirthday to you that day.)

The grace period I think is our favorite rule. Because it really is a fun little surprise when the glow of any other things you've gotten for birthdays or holidays has waned a bit. Also, because it allows us to be procrastinators. Which is against both of our natures and therefore lets us live on the wild side for a moment. It's an exhilarating adrenaline rush to miss a deadline like that you know.

As mentioned in my post about driving Dora the Explorer for the first time, last week Friday I received that package sent from WA in November.
a little worse for wear.

I think we learned a few things about Mexican customs in this more-than-two-month process. Namely, that my mailman sucks at ringing a doorbell, and that when you ship basil, you should probably forego trying to find the fancy organic variety, and instead just buy a clearly marked, unopened plastic McCormick bottle of the stuff. Because if you send a little unmarked sandwich baggie of dried herbs...

Let's be totally straight here, customs held that package for as long as they did because they thought BFFJ sent me weed (which is hilarious considering our combined experience as College Administrators, and particularly as Judicial Officers). I imagine they eventually released it for delivery because they realized that if there were drugs being shipped, they'd probably be shipped out of Mexico, not going to Mexico. And also that no one could possibly be so stupid as to send weed in such a manner. Well, maybe these guys. But no one else.

Anyway, because I'm sure you're curious, here's this box's haul:
  • small sketch book
  • water color pencils
  • peppermint foot scrub
  • coasters that say "Let's talk about how fabulous I am"
  • recipe cards that say "Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen."
  • an address book
  • cranberry bubble bath
  • vanilla hand soap
  • carmel vanilla candle
  • eye shadow
  • whoopie pie mix
  • the aforementioned shady baggie of basil (pictured front and center there)
  • hula girl coffee mug
  • hula man dashboard bobble (I named him Donald immediately.)
  • cookies for Mac shaped like animal crackers
  • a picture frame shaped like a girl, that somewhere between here and Washington lost her left hand and both feet. It is worth noting that the feet and hand were nowhere to be found in the box. Creepy/amusing.
  • and this fantastic beast of a wedding magazine:

What makes it truly fantastic, is that this particular magazine came with some commentary.
And instructions.
Kp- I hope you love this elephant of a magazine.
You'll notice I added a few touches to make it feel like I was right there reading it with you. Oh- and get a glass of wine before you start.
It'll make sense in just a little bit...

Please stand like this all night. The semi-hunched look is so in right now. And the hair! Wow! So cheap! Just wet your finger and stick it in a socket... Who stands like this???

Once again the hunch... Hunch: 2 BFFJ: 0 } the score...
The Hunch. Hunch: 3 BFFJ: 0 maybe this should be a drinking game...*
Ah. I see where this is going now.
Please note Donald is with me so I'm not drinking alone.
Because that would be tacky.
Drink! Hunch 5.5 BFFJ - 0
aye aye, Captain.

There hasn't been a hunch for too long. Take a drink.
(for the record, it was maybe 10 pages since the last hunch)
but who am I to argue with the rules.
Hunch: 8.5 BFFJ: drunk
hrmmm... Ah yup.

The commentary went on and on. And there was a lot more than just a hunch count. And it was really very thoughtful/ funny/ personalized/ an excellent idea for any bride you may know. Thanks BFFJ.

What's the silliest gift you've gotten for/ received from a friend?
I feel like I'm starting to make quite an awesome collection over here.


*Because I have had a career as a College Administrator,
I feel obliged to point out a few things:
  1. I am over 21 years of age, thus legally permitted to imbibe alcoholic beverages in a responsible manner both in the USA and Mexico.
  2. Don't try this at home.

Random Section Time!

1. The Dreaded 29 update: -4, 25 to go! It helped that we had a low-key weekend, and that C was too busy to hang out with us, but I'm feelin' good people.

2. I'm so very glad I started putting ads on the blog. I really feel they've got a good grip on their target audience:
brilliant.

3. Did you like me on the KpQuePasa.com facebook page yet? Only takes a second to [click here] and forever be in the constant know with stuff like... when I update the homepage, when I revamp my resume, and when I post new blogs!

4. For those wondering, the bald spot is no longer bald. Which is fantastic, except that it pokes through my normal length hair now. Which is an "interesting" look.
so hot right now.

2 comments:

AJ Hauser said...

I'm just here because I heard there were hot Mexican girls to date. I must be missing something...

Kp said...

I hear this gal's single and ready to Mingle:

http://jukit.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/ugly-girl-copy.jpg

Olé.